


People say goodbye in their own special ways.

by redlipsredledger



Category: Rogue One: A Star Wars Story (2016), Star Wars, Star Wars - All Media Types, star wars rogue one
Genre: F/M, One Shot
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-17
Updated: 2019-10-17
Packaged: 2020-12-21 08:23:26
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,553
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21071858
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/redlipsredledger/pseuds/redlipsredledger
Summary: I'm starting to think I'm becoming the SW Oneshot queen *Hides*He knows he's about to die; he knows he has moments if he's lucky but Cassian Andor reflects on what it was that got him to this point and he realises he has no regrets.





	People say goodbye in their own special ways.

His body felt the familiar crash of exhaustion that swept over him like a tidal wave; it had been a hell of a day.

Who'd have known it would be their last.

Cassian glanced beside him and they sat on the beach; her head rested against his shoulder and he wanted more than anything to turn to her now and tell her that they'd make it through this but he couldn't bring himself to lie to her and give her hope that they both knew was false. The sunset was beautiful and it seemed almost criminal that this would be his last. He wanted so desperately to say something, anything that would make what was coming okay but what was the point? 

There was no beauty in lies.

Instead, he looked forward and he wrapped his arm around her, pulling her closer and placing a gentle kiss against the top of her head. She released a gentle breath and he allowed a soft smile to touch his lips; how odd it would be that they'd find some calm now of all times. She had dust and sand in her hair, stains of dried blood clinging to her cheeks and tears and rips in her clothing and yet to him, she was still the most beautiful being in the galaxy. Cassian had known this mission was dangerous from the moment that they'd agreed on taking it but his one regret was that he'd allowed her to come along.

Allowed.

Ha.

No one ever told Jyn Erso what she was or was not allowed to do; she fought for what she believed in just like he did and he could hardly begrudge her that. She'd earned that right the same as he had. Their lives were littered with those that they'd lost along the way, bodies that paved the way to the moment they were in here and now, bodies that paved the path to the destruction that they were welcoming with open arms because they had no other choice. They weren't going to make it out of this and there was no use pretending they were. It would do neither of them justice to spend their last moments pretending that there was some miracle that could save them.

He knew already that they'd tried; he knew that the forcefield around the planet forbade rescue of any kind and they were alone down here on a world that was going to be destroyed in a matter of moments but as he listened to the soft sounds of her breathing while she leaned against him, he didn't mind all that much. There were worse ways to die than this; he could die alone. He'd never ever die screaming though, he'd give no one the pleasure of feeling like they'd ever bested him. It was fitting to him and who he was that he'd chosen his own death and that he'd chosen it at the side of someone that he'd grown to care very much for.

Oh, it wasn't always like that though was it? Cassian had found Jyn to be arrogant, annoying and altogether a pain in his ass when they first met. In his eyes, she only had one value and that was setting up a meeting with Saw Gerrerra. He was vital to a mission that Cassian had been assigned and it had been that and nothing more; Jyn was nothing but a petty criminal to him or at least that was what he'd tried to convince himself of. The truth was that he'd come to admire her quickly; she was strong, she was stubborn, quick witted and determined. She could handle herself, she was capable and she was downright difficult if he was going to be honest but that was admirable.

She wasn't helpless. She didn't need saving.

_She didn't need saving._

Oh, but right now if he had a choice in anything, it would be to save her. He turned his head just slightly, his bruised, battered hand moving to chin to brush his thumb gently along it. If she hadn't been so intent on trying to fix everything that her father had done she wouldn't be here in the first place but then, if she hadn't been intent on fixing what her father had done she wouldn't be the person that he'd fallen in love with; Cassian Andor almost resented the moment that he realised he was in love with her.

It would make losing her here so much easier.

"I'm so sorry, Jyn." He whispered, unable to find the strength to speak a proper apology.

If he had to find the strength to speak he may very well lose the strength he was using to sit here and remain as strong and stoic as he had been. This was dangerous, they'd known that since the very start but he hadn't known that it was going to be a suicide mission. He hadn't known that there was going to be no way back; he wouldn't change it for anything in the galaxy though, not even getting shot because he knew just how vital the Death Star plans were; he knew what rested on the success of this mission and he could live with his life being a forfeit if it stopped that monstrous machine of death ever being unleashed on anyone but Jyn? He would have done everything in his power to make sure that she hadn't gotten on that ship.

He knew that she felt somehow responsible for it though; her father had designed it after all. He was the very best, Galen Erso and his skills were legendary to the Imperials and the Rebels alike. He'd like to have met him under different circumstances but the loss of her father had spurred Jyn to make sure that his legacy wasn't going to be killing millions of innocent people. She was determined to make sure that her father wouldn't be remembered as the monster that made such devastation possible.

She was stubborn, so very stubborn.

"You have no reason to be sorry, Cassian. I agreed to this. I knew it might mean--" She couldn't bring herself to say it either.

That was okay. He could be quiet and still here with her; he pressed a gentle kiss against her forehead before his eyes were drawn upward and he watched the light in the sky. It would be over soon. It was powering up and the world they presently watched with its hustle and bustle of futile urgency around them would be destroyed; in minutes - if that - there would be nothing remaining here and the two of them would be stories told if they were lucky. If they were lucky, they'd be remembered for what they'd done today. If the Rebellion stopped the Empire, they'd be remembered.

Cassian Andor never wanted to be anyones hero.

"Rebellions are built on Hope." Jyn whispered softly as she curled into Cassians side; it was for security and he knew it.

They both knew they were going to die; they were under no illusions of rescue by now. The beam of light broke through the upper layer of the atmosphere and he glanced toward her again.

"Close your eyes." he murmured softly.

He couldn't bring himself to do the same; he wanted the very last thing in this world that he saw to be her. He wanted to memorise every contour of her face, he wanted to hold to whatever he could now because he knew that this was the final moments of his life and there was no escaping that. There was no running; you couldn't run from the cold grasp of death itself. She was beautiful, she was so beautiful; a soft, sad smile touched his face. He wished he'd have told her, he wished that he'd had more time but then, wasn't that the condition of every living being on the planet? Everyone wanted more time and no one ever got it. He pulled her just a little closer to him and he wrapped his other arm around her; he knew it would be the very last time that he ever got to hold her. He knew that they were moments from oblivion.

His rested his head on the top of hers and he released a deep, almost mournful sigh.

"Goodbye, Cassian." She replied, he could practically feel the sadness radiating from her.

"I love you, Jyn Erso."

Those were the last words that Cassian Andor would ever speak; he never got to hear her reply if she even did because the next thing he felt was a fire hotter than he'd thought possible. He felt her twine his fingers with hers; he felt the soft pressure of her hand against his. It was a small comfort; they were seconds from death. His lungs were burning. His body turned to little but ashes that would be lost to the vast emptiness of space but that was okay. That was okay because he died with her in his arms. That was okay because he died knowing she knew he loved her; he wished in his final moments before there was no life left in him that he'd said it sooner.

He died knowing he'd done his part to save everything.

Everything but her.


End file.
